What is Absent Parenting exactly? Does it mean parenting from a distance; while absent from the home? Does it mean being in the home, but not being mentally available? Maybe it means, being in the home but being emotionally unavailable? Possibly the lack of parenting all together? Well, It can be a combination of all the above. There are so many different facets to parenting; so many moving parts.
I guess the answer to most of these questions starts with asking yourself a simple question. What do you want your parenting to FEEL like?
FEELing Dreamy?
I put the emphasis on FEEL, because all of your parenting decisions should originate from that. How are you FEELing about your parenting right now? Guilty? Frustrated? Fearful? Inadequate?
Looking to change all of that? If your here looking for justification for your absent parenting style, then this article is not for you. This article was written for parents out there, that are struggling. Parents, who are at their wits end, and feel like they are at the end of their rope (visualizing a parent dangling at the end of their rope, over an alligator infested swamp).
Absent Parenting Meaning
Absent Parenting is done when parents are physically, emotionally, and/or mentally absent from the home. Sometimes, parents are deployed, unavoidably detained by work, or in prison. You may have parents who are working, travel a lot, or are so loaded with addictions, that they aren’t able to bond properly with their family. No matter which situation brings you to this article, you are in the right place.
If there is a situation that you are needing help with, find my information below, and I can help you, or find you the help you need. If you aren’t ready to talk just yet, that is ok. Follow along my articles, and glean what you can, there are so many good things to learn.
To Read More Articles On Parenting, visit HERE!
Finding Balance
This is a tricky subject, because there are so many working parents, and lets face it, life is expensive… Or is it. Most of us start our families with certain expectations, and many of us are in the throws of parenthood before we ever know what hit us. No matter our initial circumstance, after we have children, our goals are common, give them the best life possible. But what does that look like for you? Having a mansion in the Suburbs? A wild and free life in the country? Maybe buying the children all the things you never had as a child?
I digress. What did life look like for the pioneers? Simple single roomed cabins? 15 kids? Both Parents at home, providing for their children?
Ok, Ok. That kind of life isn’t desirable to most, if not all of you. But there is a point. I have never read any autobiography of that time period, where the people living in that time, weren’t happy. Even in the freezing winters or hot summers, and despite the tragedies and sicknesses that their families saw, with primitive living conditions, and no access to medical care. Why were they still so happy?
It was the QUALITY time they spent together as a family. Can we find that now? Absolutely we can. Here is how.
Get Back to the Basics
Do you NEED the mansion in the suburbs to survive? No.
What about the things you never had as a child… Did YOU need them to become who you are? No. (Sometimes we turn out good IN SPITE of our circumstances)
We chose a completely different lifestyle. We went from life in the Suburbs to living in a TINY home, with 4 kiddos, on a homestead.
I chose to live like no one else, to build our home, to stay debt free, so I could AFFORD staying home with my children. It was a sacrifice we made and I would make it again in a heartbeat. Living debt free is an option, and some are more prepared to do it then I was at the time…. Anyways, more on that later.
I have heard many parents say that spending too much time with their children is hard. They could never be a stay at home parent because they need “X,Y and Z” from society, or social time etc.
If you find your children to be stressful, change the environment for them? Kids are only stressful because of what we make up. They are sweet and wonderful, and peaceful, most of the time. And are completely manageable at home, when time is taken to raise them. I am a lucky Mama to have time to spend with mine. And would love to see you succeed in your home as well.
What I am getting at, is that there IS a way to find balance in our family, so we don’t HAVE to afford the big house, and we don’t HAVE to have both parents working full time, and absent parenting the family.
Absent Parenting Balance
My life was a 180 degree switch, but balance for you doesn’t have to look that way. Its not always an easy choice to make, and goodness knows, it won’t always look the same. But it is POSSIBLE. Just consider the long term.
What will your family look like in 5 years, 10? How will your relationships be with your kids and your spouse if you continue on this route? Is that desirable? Or do you have decisions to make?
There are many ways to justify absent parenting, but ultimately, children turn out the best when both parents are present (as much as time allows), as long as the home is a safe place and free of toxicity.
The trick, is finding a healthy balance, and achieving that.
Do some inner work to see if there are changes on your horizon.
Change the name of YOUR game.
You got this.
Maegan Shoemaker
Parent-Child Relationship Mentor
Homesteading Mother of 4 (and 3 in heaven)
P.S. Ready to change the name of the game? Let’s TALK! To Read More Articles, visit HERE!
