If you’re a parent, I don’t care how Zen you are, you’ve lost it with your kids at least a couple of times (if you haven’t, move right along, this article isn’t for you. BUT, please help us out in the comments with your wisdom; we’d love to learn from you 🙏🧡🙏). If you’re not as Zen, then, like me, you might struggle daily (or even moment to moment sometimes), to keep from loosing your cool/patience with your kids. You really wish you could just not yell at your kids as much. We’re all human. Life happens. And, things happen all the time to rock us off balance.
Just like our physical bodies can be pushed off balance when we’re not in a fully grounded/balanced stance, our subtle, energetic, and physiological bodies can be thrown off balance when we don’t take care of ourselves properly. When we’re off balance, we’re a lot more likely to fall ill, or fall into negativity/depression, and of course fall into irritability/frustration (among many other fallings 😉). Because we are more susceptible to negative emotions (negative emotions aren’t bad, they serve their purpose), when we are off balance, we act from a place of hurt and vulnerability instead of from a place of wholeness and power.
Getting Balanced So as Not to Yell at Your Kids as Much
Our bodies and Nature are designed to strive for balance, homeostasis. Problem is that, because we humans also have free-will, we have to constantly make choices that help help our bodies in that quest. No matter how hard it tries, if we don’t make choices that help our bodies in its intended design to achieve balance, it’ll get close, but won’t quite get there.
Regular self-care is the biggest way to maintain as close to balance as we can achieve in this fallen world. Taking time to take care of ourselves is super important, if you want succeed on your quest to not yell at your kids as much, and I talk about it a little more here.
The more frequently and the better you take care of yourself, the more able you’ll be at dealing with things that would otherwise knock you off balance and into frustration and yelling. For me, the best way I found to take care of myself all-around, is yoga. Yoga has helped me find flexibility in my body and mind, on and off the mat.
Pranayama To The Rescue!
Though I can’t spend my life on the yoga mat, I can take one of its most important limbs with me wherever I go, pranayama, breath work/control. The breath is a powerful tool and we are truly blessed to have access to such a powerful tool to help us stay centered, even when the our kids seem to be really bent on getting on your last little nerve!
Though super simple, easy, and accessible, like everything, it takes a little practice and consistency to really get it down so that it becomes second nature. I do this a lot better when I take care of myself more completely on a regular basis. That’s why it’s so important to take self-care seriously so that you can reduce the levels of stress in your body/mind. This how you fill your own cup to overflowing and give from the overflow.
Whenever you feel like all your kids have conspired against your sanity (or sometimes they’re just fine but you are tired, etc.), take a step back and take a nice deep, deep breath and exhale, nice, and long, and controlled, all the way out.
Taking a Breath Break
Here is a step-by-step guide to a relaxing breath. Extending the exhale:
- If you can, take a step back before yelling. If you couldn’t, stop yourself from yelling, and step back. Often we’re so used to just reacting, that that’s what we do. Don’t be hard on yourself, you caught yourself. Good Job!!
- Take a nice, deep, steady inhale to the count of 3. Expanding your ribs away from one another, like your torso is a balloon and you’re trying to fill it.
- Exhale, nice and steady, to the count of 6. Letting all the air out, squeezing your ribs together, like you’re squeezing all the air out of the balloon.
- Repeat as many times as you need to, depending on the gravity of the trigger/situation
Now you’re ready to breathe your stress and troubles away! Trust me, it really works! The more you do this, the better you get at it and the better it works in all of life’s frustrating situations 😉
Enjoy your more joyful, not-yell-at-your-kids-as-much, life!
Cybele Cerchio 🧡
The Joyful Life Blueprint
P.S. Let’s get to know each other. Here’s my story, what’s yours?
P.P.S. If you want a fun way to start your morning routine? Grab my 5-day Joyful Morning Jumpstart here.