For us Christians, “love thy neighbor as thyself” is the second greatest commandment. It’s second to “thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” So, that’s pretty big, if you ask me. The key here is to love your neighbor as you love yourself. But, how can you fulfill this commandment if you don’t really feel like you love yourself? Actually, what in the heck is self love to begin with, anyway?!
We’re told that if you love someone, you’ve gotta show it, right? I mean, how else are they gonna know? They can’t read your mind, can they? What if I told you the same goes for yourself and self love?
Do You Show Yourself Some Love?
As women, we often have a hard time with this one. On average, we rank much higher that men in the agreeableness scale, which means that we often tend to try to please others to our own detriment sometimes. We do so much for others that we run ourselves ragged sometimes, to the point of often feeling resentful. Then, because we feel resentful, we
find ourselves feeling guilty, and selfish for feeling resentful; because you feel all these things, you guilt yourself into doing more for everyone else… And the cycle continues ad infinitum….aaaaand it never resolves.
Like I’ve said on my previous article, you can’t adequately, truly, and really love others to your greatest capacity, if you don’t feel like you truly love yourself.
Is this horrid little cycle the way you show love? Do you think that’s healthy? Now, don’t bash on yourself, you’re doing the best you can with what you have and know right now.
How Do You Show Yourself Some Love?
You can start by becoming aware of your self talk. We often are really hard on ourselves! Have you notice how you talk to yourself?! Seriously, if we talked to our friends and loved ones the same way we talk to ourselves, no one would want to be our friends nor want to be around us! Why is it that we think it’s okay to pick on ourselves like that? We wouldn’t talk to others like that, unless we really didn’t like them, or care about them.
Girl, I’m right there with you! We’re each our own worst enemies, sometimes! This always makes me think of that whole English/ELA thing of “man versus himself” type of conflict we learn about in school (no? just me? ok). Well, anyway, now that you’re aware, you have to start replacing your negative self talk with some positive self talk. Try to talk yourself like you’d talk to your best friend, or even your child. You and, believe it or not, those around you will notice a huge difference in you and you’ll have an increased capacity for love!
You can also notice the things you accomplished as opposed to only noticing the things you haven’t and are still left undone. You’ll notice you do a lot more than you give yourself credit for. Give yourself appreciation for doing those little things that often go unnoticed and allow that feeling of appreciation flow through you in joy!
Self Care = Self Love
Improving your self talk is a huge way to take care of yourself and show self love. Other ways to show yourself you love you is by taking some much needed time for your self. You’re not a machine after all! And, heck! Even machines need a re-set/restart every now and then too, or they start to malfunction or overheat!
You need to take a break often to nourish yourself and to remind yourself that you are an individual! A daughter of God who deserves care too! I’ll post it again, below, but I’ve posted it in my previous article on self care. It doesn’t have to be super involved or take an inordinate amount of time. It just needs to be something that rejuvenates, refreshes, and replenishes you!
Baby-steppin’ Into Self-love
Just remember, just like “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” your self-talk and feelings of love and appreciation for yourself won’t change over night either! But, as you practice self love through self care, you’ll get better and better at it and your love for yourself will grow and grow “line upon line” as it should.
Enjoy your joyful life!
Cybele Cerchio ?
The Joyful Life Blueprint
P.S. Let’s get to know each other. Here’s my story, what’s yours?