Big sigh of tension release… “What do I do when I worry too much?” If you’re asking this question there are a few basic things to do to support yourself in seeing life through a lens that feels light.
First, it’s important to recognize that emotions, like worry, are like a barometer. It’s just showing you a measurement of how you’re handing the situation. It’s not something that defines you.
You’re not a “worry wort.”
You’re simply experiencing the emotional response to your perceptions, and perceptions are nothing more than a simple decision.
I know, when you’re “in it” that seems like an over-simplified way of putting it, but it’s still the truth in the grand scope. Now that we’ve looked at the grand scope, we can zoom in and look at the steps for digging underneath the worry emotion to find the perceptions that are causing the pain.
“What To Do When I Worry Too Much” starts with WHY.
Why are you worrying? And are you beating yourself up for worrying?
As of the writing of this post, the things going on in our world are very “worry stimulating.” Let’s acknowledge that first, and allow that it’s happening by design.
I don’t know about you, but when I find out someone is trying to get me to be fussy and upset, then I have a much easier time standing up to it and making a less painful choice with my perceptions.
Let’s just use the “pandemic” as an example since it’s something we can all identify with in 2021.
There’s a lot of conflict in the news. Lots of fear mongering… on purpose. Lots of blowing the story up into something bigger than it is so that people will get antsy and upset… fearful. SUPER WORRIED!
Then there’s the way that fear mongering impacts you personally. You may be looking at those stories and believing them. You might be hoping something in politics will change – something major that was put into place in January 2021 – and you are watching people like Arizona Senator, Wendy Rogers hoping for her efforts to make a difference, and FAST!
The thing to do in this situation is to put your optimism glasses on. Or even your blinders. You’re looking at goings on that could give you a lot of hope, if you weren’t also listening to voices that are a bummer. Then the worry returns.
This is pretty typical with any stress.
Who are you listening to?
Who are you believing?
What voices are screaming in your head?
Are you saying “yes” or saying “no” to those voices?
When considering the question “What do I do when I worry too much” we need to dig into your own thought patterns. That can be so hard if you’re trying to do it alone. You don’t have to do it all alone. I can promise you that there is a support system out there that can help you lean into shifting your thought patterns.
Here is a beginner process for learning to look at what’s going on in your mind patterns.
Simple Belief Shifting Process:
- Notice – when you feel a worry response in your body, notice it and acknowledge it as a tool, and nothing you’re doing wrong.
- Ask – ask yourself what belief pattern is coming forward for you with this emotional trigger. It could be “I’m afraid of what it means about/to me if a loved one dies.” or something similar, sticking with the “pandemic” fear monger example.
- Ask – ask yourself how it is serving you to be worried/afraid. Is it helping you move forward with life in a positive, productive, healthy way? Or is it giving you pain, paralyzing you, and keeping you from living life?
- Ask – ask yourself if you want to continue to feel that way. If they answer is “yes” then you may have a perception that feeling scared is keeping you safe. This is a natural human instinct! It’s okay. It means your nervous system is on high alert. Find some help to sooth yourself into a calm state so that you can ask this question again and when the answer is “no” you don’t want to continue feeling scared, then move forward with the process.
- Ask – “Am I ready to feel better?” When the answer is “yes” find a way to look at the situation from a different angle. What is hopeful? Something is hopeful. Go at this Pollyanna-style and find the reason why it’s hopeful. Hope is a powerful anti-worry. Again, find a support system that is looking for the hope too. Connection is strength!
- Solidify – now that you have found some hope, ask yourself “what is my next step to creating a new pattern of holding onto hope?” When that step comes to your mind, write it down and then DO IT!
I’ve had clients whose next step was “take a detox bath” and others who felt like they needed to call a specific person to talk with them about something. Whatever that step is for you, it is the perfect tool to help you move into a new pattern.
Deep seeded trauma is tricky, so I want to tell you about a support system that Shayoli Hope makes available to everyone, free. We saw this need to support those who are deeply affected by the worry-inducing stories of the day.
Taking the first step past pain and into hope can feel tough!
Come on over to ShayoliHope.com and choose the button that works best for you. All of them are designed to bring you a sense of hope, and centered well-being. We want that for you.
Once you are inside, join the Telegram community and say “Hi” to me. 🙂
See you inside!
Creator of Shayoli Hope
Singer of Happy Songs 😉